Any time a football team that’s favored to win gets blown out 67-3 by the underdogs, you’ll see a headline or two about “what’s to blame.” Comments on these articles will profess to know who should be fired, who is a bum, who is getting paid too much to perform like this. There are definitely cases where you can point to one player and say, “here, this person’s actions are why they lost”, but usually it’s more than just one player. Missed routes, bad throws, blown coverage, terrible clock management. The team played terribly because of a collection of issues that stacked up to a bad showing.
Recently, you and I have seen attention given to those that know “what’s to blame” for this issue, for that elected official, the hurricane season affecting so many people. We point fingers, we place blame for hurtful actions, and we continue to separate people into “us” and “them.” Here’s a screenshot of my Facebook status on Election Night:
I was angry when I posted that, and I still am. Seems like we’re all angry these days.
I make no secret of my political beliefs or my emotions tied to them; I’m sharing this to say that I am in this group of people that places blame on somebody or something else for the current state of American affairs. And I’d bet good money that you’re right there with me.
Prejudice has come to the surface in the United States of 2017. Actual Nazis are marching through our streets, yelling things we haven’t heard with this much force since before you and I were born. Organizations are claiming legal rights to discriminate against their neighbors. Every day, somebody, somewhere is declaring, “if you’re this then you can get out of America,” and somebody, somewhere else is saying, “if you’re this than you can unfriend me now.” I’ve thought long and hard about what went wrong, and I’ve reached a conclusion about who is to blame for the current climate here in the United States.
Every single one of us.
If you have ever laughed at a joke about someone being gay, about Jews being stingy with money, about Mexicans not speaking English and performing the most demeaning jobs, about Asians not knowing how to say English words with the letter “L”, about African-Americans being “scary” or exhibiting criminal behavior, about women belonging in the kitchen or men being pansies if they cry, then you may be at fault.
Whether it was in 1995 or 2017, we have all made this joke. Whether behind closed doors, in a text message thread between close friends, or in a public forum, we have all done this. Jokes like these have always come with the thrill of, “look how bad I’m being, but I totally don’t mean it, I’m just saying it to be funny.” Somebody might think you’re a racist or sexist person, but it’s all in good fun, until some people start to find these ideas normal, and embrace them as fact.
We have all contributed to an environment of separation and division.
These days, we share articles that say “Cable News Host DESTROYS Guest With Opposing Views”, because it feels good to be right, right? We share graphics and memes that express outrage at a voter base, or an entire political party, because they are responsible for this current climate. Most of all, we tell ourselves that we’re doing what’s right, and they are responsible for all the bad things going on right now.
Remember that line made famous by President Lincoln? “A house divided against itself cannot stand.” I have one question for everybody reading this, are you benefiting from this intense division between people that live in the same country? We’ve always disagreed with each other, but who is benefiting from the way we divide ourselves us into sub-sections of American humanity? I’m not. My taxes haven’t gone down, my job hasn’t offered me a raise. Has your life become easier since we started pointing fingers and laying blame?
I think it’s time we all accept responsibility, because once we own the current situation, we are able to contribute to the solutions that will bring us back together and heal that divide. I’ll start.
I accept responsibility for all the hurtful things I have ever said, either in private with friends, or trying to be funny in a larger group. I’ve referred to people as some things other than what I believe myself to be, and that helps neither of us.
I accept responsibility for assuming I know everything about a person based on their political party.
I accept responsibility for judging somebody by the part of the country in which they live.
If you can accept that responsibility with me, I think we will all take a step towards a solution.
The Bluestone Project 